


Why I never said the Word Love

by Lucifer_leviathan



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Daddy Issues, Implied abuse, M/M, Past Abuse, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 03:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7297108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifer_leviathan/pseuds/Lucifer_leviathan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why John never told Sherlock he loved him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why I never said the Word Love

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry

John knew he was in trouble the first time Sherlock explained to him his deductions. John loved being close Sherlock, loved the excitement in the consulting detective's eyes when ever they were on a case, but every time John grabbed Sherlock on the shoulder he felt guilt. Every time there would be an underlining of tension after a conversation, John would have images in his mind from the past. John came so close to pulling Sherlock into a deep kiss many times, but each time a voice would stop him. The same voice that told him it was his fault that Sherlock died. The voice that told him if he hadn't had gotten close to the tall man in the first place none of this would have happened. He cried and scream at night telling himself it wasn't his fault. He just couldn't help, hut thinking it though. Everyone he loves gets hurt. Harry got hurt and another boy he loved got hurt. If only he could control his love. He then had Mary and maybe, maybe he could forget about Sherlock and live a normal life like his Dad always wanted, but he knew he never could forget Sherlock. When Sherlock came back , the need for him grew and the guilt of that need intensified. Damn him! Damn Sherlock and his beauty, damn his owned messed up mind. Damn his guilt! John continued on though, he was going to be normal. He was going to marry like father wanted and he did. So why wasn't he happy, because every time he came near Sherlock he had an urge to be close to him, to say I love you, and he didn't, because if he did say those words he would never hear the end of his father's words.


End file.
